While going through a blog on creativity / hobbies posted by one of the departments at my workplace, I was suddenly filled with the urge to be creative. Pushing aside any workplace demands of task completion, I started with the pursuit to write my own piece covering the myriad experience that I have faced in my journey so far.
In the last few days, I have been in a retrospective mode and was gradually getting the idea that despite having completed almost four and a half decade of living, my life rhymes with the famous U2 number "I still have not found what I am looking for". The fact that there is so much talk of success connected with hard work, passion surrounding me that my mind has gone numb figuring what my journey meant so far - to me as well as others. This contemplative mode has rather made me sullen and I have become more like the social outcast that I am often labelled with (which of course I rarely agreed with). My so called friends ( I have very few of them) appeared to be all fictitious ones and I gradually started withdrawing into a cocoon.
I have been a very outgoing and friendly sort of girl since my childhood. Having spent the major part of my childhood in Delhi, the city was like a second home to me back then. I was very fond of kids and most of the time when my mother could not trace me anywhere on the playing ground, I was sure to be found at any residence which had an infant as its member. I do not remember a single day of my childhood which I might have spent without the company of any society - be it a kid or my neighborhood game pals or school mates. However as fate would have it, my father got transferred to a city in western part of the country which was primarily a desert and the change in location and culture has had its impact on my psyche somehow. I was more introvert now and hardly interacted with anyone. I finally managed to get admission at one of the Kendriya Vidyalaya branches which had students from all levels of the Defence services. In my previous school, though we studied in an English Medium, there was no air of superiority or any "English speaking" culture which rendered a very homely feeling to all of us specially since most of us hailed from middle-class background with mother-figure or father-figure teachers as our mentor and guide. The girl at this new place was like a second incarnation of myself - the one more observant and quieter of the two.
